HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN SOUR CREAM GOES BAD......AND OTHER KITCHEN QUERIES

I think I heard that line on an episode of Friends, or something like it. Someone looked in the fridge and held up a tub of sour cream, and asked the question, in a sardonic voice, " How do we know when the Sour Cream goes sour?"

Fair question. Who knows? Are you willing to take a chance?

Does ketchup go bad? I wouldn't know, it doesn't last that long at my house. And how would you know anyway...........

And don't get me wrong, I was preparing to make a batch of Buttermilk Biscuits this morning, and my 2L of Buttermilk was past date. Not by much. Oh well, April 12, but still. Does that bother me? Not in the least. It still smells the same as on the day you buy it, so I don't see much harm in it. And a hot biscuit dripping with butter and some McNally's freezer Strawberry Jam just hits the spot on these early spring days.

So did I take the chance?

You bet.

And how about that dastardly, disgusting habit of "dunking?" You know the one.

You set a cup of tea down for that after supper cookie. At your end of the table, all is well. The plate of Ginger cookies sits between you, and you each reach for one. So far so good.

Until that person at the other end of the table has to go and ruin it all.

He has an old habit of slathering butter on his Molasses Cookie, or Ginger Cookie or a Ginger Snap. Then he tops it with another cookie.

All good.

But then to add insult to injury, he glances over his glasses at me, then goes and does it.

Dunks that puppy until it's good and soaked. Jesus. I might have to fake my own death.

And I get it. I think perhaps it hearkens back to an older time when cookies were tough and dry and perhaps getting stale, so a quick dunk in the coffee or tea was the remedy. Also, in many families the Grampie doing it possibly didn't have all his teeth, so this was a good compromise. It doesn't hurt anybody. Makes the cookie more palatable.

But as far as I'm concerned, that practice just ruins a good cookie, and ruins a good cup of tea.

And do you know what the sludge that settles in the bottom of that cup looks like, when you go to give it a quick swish before loading it in the dish washer?

Yah, poop. It looks just like poop. See where I'm going with this?

But I'm a sook.

To watch a child dunk their Oreo in their milk almost makes me weak in the knees. And what a shitty looking glass when they're done. But they do it.

I can't even.

And speaking of milk.......... It's gotten expensive, if I was still rearing 4 kids, Jamie might have called my bluff and gotten me a cow.

But Momma had a saying for that.

"Milk is cheap medicine."

She and most others of her vintage has a witty saying for everything from a rash to a high tide.

"If bullshit was music, he'd be a whole brass band!"

And how about, "The older the ram, the stiffer the horn." You draw your own conclusions on that one. It usually fits............

"Your name will travel further than your feet."

We could have a round dance going for days with all the sayings out there, and our old friend Betty Bruce had one for EVERY occasion.

I guess today they're using Artificial Intelligence for dang near everything. No one has to remember anything or embellish anything or come up with an original thought. AI fits the bill. And I'm not 100% sure I even know what it is or does.

But I don't need to. I'm happy in my ignorance.

Blissful even.