NOTHING'S WHAT IT USED TO BE.....

Boy, that was fast, where did that year go?

Oh, well, it's not as if we didn't know that Christmas comes on December 25, every year. Ready or not, here it comes!!

So while my desserts are cooling for tomorrow, the turkey and ham are doing their thing, and pots of veggies and sides are peeled and prepared, I'm wondering what's on the big guy's mind.

No not Jamie! Santa, silly!!

Poor Santa, Christmas isn't what it used to be, and the lists aren't what they used to be either.

Christmas in the twenty-first century is a far cry from even one hundred years ago.

First of all, he has to check that enormous list, and you better believe he checks it twice. Thank heavens for the new computerized spread sheet program that the elves installed on the lap top for him; he can cross check, double check, and check off names on the fly! Marvellous!

The sleigh is now equipped with both diesel and electricity. You have to be prepared for anything, what with the population exploding and immigration all over the world; eight little reindeer, plus Rudy, sometimes the team can barely drag their asses back to the barn when the deliveries are done.

So Mrs. Claus installed an EV hybrid engine, from Mitsubishi, so he could drive his ambition, plus a combustion engine.

Just in case.

Poor Nicholas, he'd never get around to it. Unless it was on someone's list.........

Landing the sleigh is not as easy as it once was either. Buildings have become increasingly tall, steep, and clustered. So many condos on small city blocks. It's hardly a job for a five hundred year old man anymore. Oh well.

The easiest deliveries of all and the most meaningful, are to the homeless shelters and refugee encampments all over the world. These people are displaced through no fault of their own and so grateful and happy for the least of gifts, even if it's just clean water and milk for their children, and so Santa tries hard to bring something nice, as he knows darn sure those folks will be sharing with each other whatever they get. Plus it's easier to land the sleigh and get around.

And another thing. With the threat of global warming at an all time high, a lot more homes have no snow on their roof tops anymore to land a big sleigh. Air conditioners and heat pumps are now the norm.

So with fewer and fewer chimneys to slip down, Santa has had to figure out a way to squeeze his big fat arse through the heat pump register. It can't be pretty.

And when he gets to the other side, that is, in your living room, he has to risk a long drop to the floor, instead of an elegant entrance from the fireplace. In my house, he'd be risking a broken arm, with my 12-foot drop to the hardwood floor. I bet when Clement Clarke Moore wrote "T'Was The Night before Christmas..." in 1823, he didn't have to think about any of that!

Now to the prezzies.

Santa knows it's pointless to carry old toys anymore. Like dinkies, Barbies, tops or puzzles. Not much call for those wonderful old reliable toys anymore. But there's been an increasing number of requests for technology. Where new skates or a toboggan used to be a regular gift at most houses, now it'll be a PS5 or the newest XBox, the elves have been turning out millions of those, and wrapped them too! So a lot of these will be delivered, along with filling the wish list of new games to go along with some of those gifts.

Even younger children can't live, it seems, without the latest iPhone. Why, even Mrs. Claus doesn't have one of those! So much for an Etch-A-Sketch or a paint set like the old days, so a phone it is.

It's a long night.

And although Santa loves a snack as much as the next fella, those aren't the same either.

To himself he's thinking, "If I have to eat one more gluten free cookie I'm gonna puke. And what happened to milk? Soy milk, Lactose free milk, Oat milk (seriously?) Rice milk, Almond milk, Silk milk, is this for real? I'll just have to make the most of it. Even if I pretended to eat and drink the snack, but secretly fed it to the reindeer, that wouldn't work either. They'd probably gas me out all the way back to the Pole!"

So although the deliveries are almost finished and the reindeer are pawing and snorting, Santa has time to do some thinking on his way home.

There is so much sadness and unhappiness in the world, and Christmas is only one day. Toys and gadgets won't fill the empty bellies that society has too many of. No gifts will bring back a loved one who has passed away. There are too many empty chairs around the table, and even Santa can't fix that.

But Santa can admit that many local organizations are making a difference. Food hampers for Christmas dinners, food banks helping out as much as they can. Toys For Tots, Christmas Daddies, Coats For kids, Lions Clubs, Knights of Columbus, The Village Feast, just to name a few, are making a difference. Santa just can't do it all. Not anymore. But he has lots of help.

And many families who may have had a rotten Christmas in past years now find themselves in a position to help. That's always the best way. It's meaningful.

Now to reset this new fangled GPS for the return trip to The North Pole, Ho Ho Ho! Last year was so busy that the reindeer didn't notice the time zones passing swiftly and stopped for the night somewhere over Siberia. Mrs. Claus was not impressed.

So a GPS for Santa was set up.

And now, with another Christmas delivery done all Santa can hope for is a nice night lunch of real cookies, 100% whole milk, and a crackling fire to nod off in front of. The elves always take care of the sleigh and the team.

From our house to yours.....

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!