PRETTY BIG SHOES TO FILL

I'd like to say that words fail me but they rarely do.

I had a regular tune up due at the dentist this summer, which I always look forward to. This office has been looking after me and my family since about 1977 or so. I was never one of those people who was scared of a dentist or nervous about it, since I'd been sitting in dental offices for a very long time for various reasons.

But in the 70's my family doctor, Dr. Steve O'Brien recommended this new dentist that he knew, who was setting up a practice in Morell. At this time I was new on staff at the CIBC in Souris, had a spanking fresh health care plan that covered me and my husband, so I called and we were added to the practice.

Now, I'm sure that this brand new dentist with his first practice was probably more nervous than we were, but over the years how we came to love him.

Everybody knows of course, without any introduction, I'm talking about Dr. Coady. "Maurice Austin Coady", who became so much more than a dentist.

With his calm friendly manner, he inspired complete confidence. Absolute trust. We soon came to learn that he would always do the right thing.

As the years went by, and he continually brightened our smiles, we learned more about him and his life. We got to know his first wife Marlene, as she worked in the practice too, and she and I had our babies about the same time. Not long after, Marlene returned to her home province and co-parented with Maurice who became a single Dad of three.

The years go by, and our families were growing up. My kids knew Dr. Coady intimately, as I took them with me for most appointments, whether they were in the little carrier, or playing on the floor with their siblings. At the age of three, one by one, they became his patients too. And although they all were used to the idea, and had no reason to be afraid, for some reason B.J. was petrified to sit in the chair on his very first check up. At the age of three, he was a force to be reckoned with, and I'll never forget that day, and Jaime Lee and Krystal who were with me, remember it too. He cried and kicked and bawled, but nothing could calm him down, I just couldn't understand it. I just wanted to get him out of that chair and hug him and sooth him. He was inconsolable.

But Dr. Coady knew better. He'd seen it all before.

"Nova, you and the girls are going to have to leave, go out to the car, he'll never settle down as long as he knows you're here." Well, by now B.J. was screaming so loud that I was sure you could hear him at the Co-op, he was out of control. I'd never seen him like that. But I did as I was told, and my heart just broke, we could still hear him as we waited outside. But eventually, he subsided, and slowly stopped. And since it was just his first appointment, all Dr. Coady wanted to do was a preliminary check up; at three years old, you don't even have all your teeth yet. Eventually one of Dr. Coady's staff came out and brought us back in.

There was little B.J. with his ginger hair all wet and stuck to his head from sweat, all curled up in that big green reclining chair, quietly sobbing with those little hiccups that break your heart every time.

Dr. Coady said, "There, Mom, B.J. is all done. We're great friends now, aren't we B.J.? We just wanted to count his teeth and make sure everything is going good. And look at his shark socks, I like sharks too." And as he was speaking in that calm, modulated voice of his, he was easing my little boy out of his seat, and poor little B.J. who was exhausted from crying, fairly melted into my arms.

But Dr. Coady knew best, and he knew how to handle kids. B.J. was fast friends with him ever since.

In his quiet way, Dr. Coady took care of our dental needs but educated us at the same time. His practice would have taken care of the immediate needs, but no doubt we all learned how to properly care for our teeth in between checkups, so that eventually we became more maintenance than emergency. And that's fine by me.

When it became obvious that a couple of our kids would need braces, he provided his recommendations, and we went from there. So since I was only in my forties at that time, I had a real wish to maybe consider braces for myself. So he did the impressions, and had a little chat with me afterwards.

"You know Nova, your situation is a little different from the kids. They have youth on their side, their braces will do the work quickly, it's easier to move their teeth around at this age. But we would have to do surgery on your facial bones to get even a millimeter of room for movement, and that's still not enough. Your teeth are healthy and they're even, they're just not straight. If I was making the decision for myself or one of my own kids, I would say the same thing........... just leave them alone. For the small changes we could make, for what you'd have to go through, I just wouldn't recommend it."

And of course with all decisions he made for us over the years, he was right, and we always trusted him.

I was always a big Hallowe'en fan, and it turned out so was he. One year I'll never forget, he decided to have me make costumes for his three kids. I don't remember them all, but I remember clearly making a Ninja Turtle costume for one of his little boys. I wish I'd had a picture. It was complicated and complete, it would have transformed that kid into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and that was it! Of course I had to make a costume for the good doctor too, and what else? Dracula!! He was a great sport. We had a lot of fun.

We've seen a lot of staff come and go over the years, each and every one was special in their own way. Janet, Anne Marie, Judy in particular, as she's been there so long, and we soon learned that to get a nod of approval out of her when she examined your teeth was better than a trip to the circus!

Nothing could compare with having your picture taken after a perfect check up, and see it mounted on "The Wall of Fame." That was great encouragement for the kids of course. So after one of my good check ups when I asked why I couldn't have my picture taken and posted proudly for all the world to see, Maurice said, "We'd have to call that "The Wall of Shame....."

He was that kind of guy.

His office guided us more recently through the Pandemic, which was trying for folks on both sides of the desk. But we all made it.

And speaking of earning trust, has it ever occurred to you that his office has had almost no changes over almost fifty years? The reception area is the same, although Covid I suppose was responsible for the removal of the coffee table and reading material.

The chairs are the same medical green.

The Xray suite is the same.

It smells the same and indeed, feels the same, every time I go down.

There's something comforting, something solid about that.

But all good things must come to an end.

The writing was on the wall for a number of years that Maurice was trying to retire. We all knew this would happen, but how are you ever prepared for that? Your dentist is right up there in terms of importance, with your doctor. They are part of your health care team. And to say that everybody is replaceable, well I'm not sure I agree.

This summer I went for my regular six month check up, not realizing that this time it was to be my last, and I came home a wreck.

The sign was posted on the desk, and there seemed a different vibe in the office. It let us know that although there had been an effort to recruit a new dentist, no one was forthcoming and from now on, we'd have to find one on our own.

And it just hit me......this was the last time, after 46 years, that I would walk up the small flight of stairs into Maurice's office.

The last time I'd be ushered into the ever-present green chair and kitted out with the bib.

The very last time that I'd be making an appointment for the next check up. They were over.

And at this last check up, Judy did the honors, and pronounced me good to go. Maurice didn't even need to see me, as my x-rays were up to date.

I felt kind of disoriented, stunned really. I didn't know what to say, so I said to Judy, "So is this it? We're done?" And we made a few feeble jokes about less than desirable patients over the years, and how I was one of their favorites. (I'm sure they said that to everyone, but by now I was so close to tears, my eyes were just brimming over. I had to get out.)

So we said our good byes, and I stumbled out to the front desk to pay my bill. And Jacinta wasn't much better, why is it so easy to get weepy? And again I mumbled something about my last time there, I was almost in shock.

And then Dr. Coady appeared, with his mask pulled down around his chin, and his always present magnifying glasses perched on his nose.

So although there were other patients there, I looked him square in the eye and said, in a not very strong voice, "And what do I say to you? Thank you so much for everything you've done for me and my family all these years. If anyone deserves a long and happy retirement, it's you........"

And by now my words ended on a high pitched sob and I was openly crying and he started to mouth the words "Thank you" and then he had tears coming down. Poor Jacinta, I'm sure she witnessed it every day.

So back down the little flight of stairs I went, for the last time, dragging my purse, I couldn't wait to get to the car door. As I put my seat belt on, and turned the key, I just sat there in the parking lot bawling my eyes out. It wasn't pretty, but no one was around.

I had to compose myself for the drive back home, with so many memories flowing through my mind; how he helped me through an ulcerated tooth during one of my pregnancies, when there wasn't much he could do, and I took his gentle advice, to protect my baby.

How he introduced each one of my children to dental care, and then all my grandkids too.

How we always left with a chuckle at something he said, he never let us down.

I never once in all those years ever dreaded going to an appointment, it was always a pleasant part of my health care, as I knew I'd get good care, and always a laugh out of someone.

What happens next? I'm not sure and I'm not alone, I'd say Dr. Coady's practice numbered in the thousands. We'll find another health care professional, but we'll NEVER find another Maurice Coady.

His shoes are simply too big to fill. How he is loved. And how he will be missed.